#demisexual

I did go through some processing with regard to how I look at women, what is sexual attraction, what is aesthetic attraction, and is there a component of wanting to be them. No, not really. I don't get gender envy. I do, however, get "freedom envy." It's not related to gender but the perceived feeling of being free. As for what is sexual vs. aesthetic attraction, I think I still have them somewhat confused. I think it's more about aesthetics than I thought. I like looking at pretty faces. Getting a firmer grasp of my demisexual brand of being ace has helped in this. One revelation with my sexuality was to notice there being a huge gap in how I feel when looking at porn before and after cuming. It feels wild, almost a disconnect. I think I'm way more vanilla than I thought. And I'd rather watch than participate in the scenes. #NonBinary #asexual #DemiSexual